Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks
Hello TooManyDays: I see this is your first post, here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks!  I hope you find whatever amount of time you spend here to be of benefit. 
With regard to your quandary... I don't how old you are. I'm now in my mid 60's & have been married for around 35 years. My perspective is that passionate love is ephemeral. Sure you can fall madly, passionately in love with someone. It may last a week, a month, a year, maybe even several years. But ultimately marriage ends up being more about stability & companionship than passionate love. And the problem is there's no way to know, going in, whether a passionate love will be one that lasts for years... or one that lasts for days... You could end up throwing the life you have away for a mad, passionate love that lasts for a few weeks or months. And, yes, at least from my perspective, regardless of how your mad passionate love turns out, you will carry the guilt of what you did to your current wife & your daughter for the rest of your life. Trust me on that. Good luck... |
I'm 35. I realize passionate love is temporary, but does that make it meaningless? Is it meaningless? I honestly don't know. I've never experienced it. Is it life affirming? Is it a memory and experience I will cherish for the rest of my life? Is it underwhelming or overrated? Will I regret never allowing myself the opportunity to experience it? I have no idea. I don't know the answers to these questions. I think most people experience the intense infatuation with a lover at some point in their lives. Maybe people get old, and tired, and lazy and don't care about losing that feeling after a while because it's too much effort and they've already been there. Maybe people get complacent and allow themselves to believe companionate love is an adequate and unavoidable replacement for passionate love. I don't know. This is all conjecture. But I think more and more that the conventional wisdom about love is a complete lie.