Quote:
Originally Posted by NothingNew88
I don't know what I'm doing here. I just felt like I needed to talk with someone. When I realized I couldn't talk to my friends about anything serious, I realized they aren't real friends which is even more depressing. I pushed away the only person that I could tell everything. I struggle with Social anxiety and alcoholism. They go hand in hand for me. Sometimes, I feel like I'm going to lose my mind if I don't have a drink. Today was one of those days. Anyway, I don't want to really go into my story now. I was just feeling absolutely miserable and wanted to talk. I hope there aren't many of you who feel this badly.
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Sometimes even saying (writing, in this case) the issue can give you clarity. Moving the words outside your mind can make them solid and you can acknowledge the problem and begin to at least look for solutions (caveat: I suffer from dysthymia, am a complete loser, am socially inept and, until recently, more than a bit of a know-it-all. Despite a lifetime of being told I was smart, I have to come to realize I am only a good actor with a mind for trivia and am, in fact, a bit thick)
With drinking until you say "I have a problem with alcohol" you cannot work towards freeing yourself of the 'demon in a bottle'
Although I am not an alcoholic, many in my family have been. And are. And I feel its siren call. I am a teetotaller, not because I want to be but because I must be
And, because I am an **** retentive jerk, I wanted to thank you for saying badly, rather than bad as, I assume, you feel awful, not evil. Too often good grammar goes unnoticed and unappreciated.