Hi,

first of all, I am currently in my longest relationship (4 years in August) and it feels.. weird?
I ended nearly all of my previous relationships. There were different reasons (abuse were most of them, but also wanting to be free in general) and with my ups and downs I think it's safe to say I'm not easy to be with.

What makes it weird this time is.. it's not abusive? On the contrary I am loved and supported with all my flaws and litterally in "good and bad times". I can be hypersexual or asexual and it's okay? I can be depressed or hypo and it's okay? I can be man or woman or neither and it's met with exitement and support? I can have a crush on other people (and vice versa) and we swoon together

But the thing is, I have this urge to be "free". I love him and we have a child but I catch myself thinking on how I would manage it alone and not living together. We have spend so much time together that a part of me thinks it's time to move on. (I know "much time" is very subjective here). At the same time I think it's ******** because I really do want to have this with him and it's so full of joy and love. What is wrong with me? (not so serious question)

I heard part of long time relationships is to choose everyday to be together and make it work. And I'm not afraid of the work part. I just have this constant urge to move on? Had it all my life in all aspects of it?

I don't plan to end this. I have my moods and I know that this is sometimes more or less present and I am thankful of having him in my life.

But how do you do it? Why do you chose to stay? When do you chose not to?