I have called my T and hung up before the beep about 837626273 times. I have felt very depressed starting on Monday with things getting more confusing and scary after my pdoc appointment. T doesn't even know I saw the pdoc, I forgot to tell him last week that the appointment would be on Tuesday. I don't know what is going on. I want to call him so badly, but i don't want to call him at all. I keep thinking that I don't have an "important" enough reason to call him. That I need to be in complete crisis, on the verge of who knows what, in order to call. I was thinking... what is the point of calling... I am going to feel so stupid... so I didn't. I see him tomorrow anyway. An hour and a half with T.