Thanks for reading Thunder Bow.I actually need to write it down on here,it helps a lot and it is like having someone to chat to about how I am feeling and how my day is going.Like tonight,as well as all day,I 've felt tired and irritable and upset and there is no one to turn to,so if I come here and map it all out,what's happened today,what my plans are,what's upset me,I feel better in the end!It does sound like I am managing but doesn't feel like it yet,I am just getting organised and I am impatient for the gardener to start cos the grass really needs doing like now!But as it is new the garden coordinator has to assign me a gardener and it has to be done on a day without rain,they have forecast rain this week from Wednesday on into the following week.I still get to worry about it even if I am not doing the work myself!And I do worry a lot and get anxious.But thanks I am managing a lot better than I was and am on my own without the abuse of my narcissistic sister who I cut out of my life a year and a half ago!So well done me,eh?