I was chatting with some folks last week about needing a lot of pain meds as well as taking anti-depressants and a sleeping pill in addition to tummy meds. I had asked my doc to wean me off the sleeper which she did and the reduced dose worked but when I stopped, I stopped sleeping. I have been worried about my intake of pain meds, worried about addiction. I ran out of the strong ones and basically had decided I wanted to go to PT to see if they could help. Yesterday I went to the doc and layed it all out, that I was sick of all of the drugs, worried about addiction, worried about tylenol and my liver, worried about severe pain because when it's here it is just the most unbearable pain in the world. I have been taking narcotics and my tolerance has built, I used to be so drugged on so little. I have had such severe pain that I think I am traumatized by it. Weird thing is that I used to just put up with it and try anything I could to ease it, floating, lying on my back etc. Now I am intolerant of it and I seem to be having it all of the time. so she gave me more pain meds, gave me the smaller dose of the sleeper that worked and told me not to worry about addiction and to take the meds when I needed to and that I was not taking enough to worry about my liver. She also recommended Yoga which I later decided to not take a class due to time and expense. So what I did do was inquire about a local health club and pool and then arrange to get P.T. in the pool so I can learn what to do and then I will just get a membership. The pool is very close to my office as opposed to the yoga class and I can sneak out anytime available to float and swim. I feel good about these things. Discussed again today with T, the fear of pain and the fact that I am taking mega pills. She went through the whole thing about pain management which I know professionally but not personally. I grew angry and said I was too darned young to be in chronic pain and on the amount of drugs which are DEPRESSANTS. She helped me work it through and I am optomistic that the P.T. will help. But, I was on my computer at work a lot today and then was filing and my back really started hurting. I took 2 vicodin at 4:30. When I came home I was doing a little laundry and bang, my lower back started. I took 2 percoset. It is getting to feel wrong for me to be taking meds like that and I was not thinking when I took the second dose that I had just taken some 2.5 hours earlier so indeed I did get too much tylenol into my body. I am too darned young and have always been healthy, could move sofa beds myself, threw bales of hay like pillows and had the stamina of a mule. Not now. I have bulging disks and desication of disks. I also have an old injury in upper back which adds to the fun. So, I am just putting this all out there, processing. If someone came and took my drugs tonight I would freak out. Does that mean I am an addict? I would want them back in a hurry. I have had children and have had injuries and surgeries, this is the worst pain I have ever known. Babies are a breeze, root canals a walk in the park. That is how bad the pain is and I am not accepting it and just living with it any longer. I have spent many days in the past flat on my back with my legs up. Sorry to ramble, just wanting to paint the whole picture here. What do you all think?