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Just took a shower, and was going to brush my teeth. Now I'm just sitting on the floor of the bathroom in front of the sink. I'm not depressed, but I'm so not right either. Don't know what's wrong with me...
I asked about love because I'm starting to think love is a figment of one's imagination. Wither that, or that I will never find that love. Not like any man would ever take me as a wife. I'm too messed up. And stupid. And selfish. And I can't love. So here I am. Lonely. And alone (There's a difference). And hating my future. Or lack thereof.
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There are so many things wrong with me, and sometimes I believe there is more than what is diagnosed. I fear never healing, being left alone to crawl this heartless, cruel world. I hate myself so much, and sometimes, as much as I hate them, all I really want is a heartfelt hug. Will I ever make it through this thing called life? Or will I drown in the darkest depths of the ocean? Only time can tell. As for now, I just hide and I fear. This is, and will always be my life. 
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