I think about this ALL the time! But then I think back to my childhood before I started abusing stuff. I was still self harming and insanely depressed with a massive eating disorder. So I think that one way or another I'd be in this same pit so I just drop it before it drives me nuts.

I think a question is, "what you rather it be?" Would you rather be so messed up on drugs that your were considered crazy or do you rather have a legit illness? Both outcomes are horrible. And I admit, I am convinced I've put myself into hypo/mania with substances. I do think the abuse can make the illness worse. But since I've been sick since childhood I believe I was sick first.

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