I am 41.

The only child I ever had I was forced to give away when I was 18. I have tried to get ahold of him but I am starting to feel perhaps he does not want to know me.

I have a strong faith in God and Jesus but that is not something which is preventative of suicide to me. To me, the preventative of suicide is that you can only really at most severely injure yourself unless God decides to let your time on earth be over - otherwise you may just end up vegetative until that day, no matter what you do.

My purpose is not really in question. Even though I do not work, I do manage to help people from time to time and I think that can be a purpose as well. What bothers me though is it seems I upset people too much to do any good lately - so I am not able to complete any purpose, which causes me to wonder why I remain if my purpose is done?