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When the thing causing your OCD ends, and your T thinks things will get better with college, but things are already going awry. You're like, "Wait a minute. What am I going to say? Goodness. I'm so embarrassed about this. He thought things would get better. Why am I so messed up?" Writing what I am going to bring to therapy about it. Managed to slip my mind. Not. Made my mom watch a video about OCD, and she said I wasn't that bad. Mom? I was. Maybe not right now, but I had all those things wrong with me. Thanks. Now writing also about my OCD in depth before it became what it did. Mom says I should take medicine if it gets too bad. In fact, most people are telling me to take meds. Don't really want to, though...
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There are so many things wrong with me, and sometimes I believe there is more than what is diagnosed. I fear never healing, being left alone to crawl this heartless, cruel world. I hate myself so much, and sometimes, as much as I hate them, all I really want is a heartfelt hug. Will I ever make it through this thing called life? Or will I drown in the darkest depths of the ocean? Only time can tell. As for now, I just hide and I fear. This is, and will always be my life. 
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