I don't believe in love, romance, all that bs. I love my kids, that's all I can manage. I think relationships have many ups and downs, far too much responsibility, and a whole lot of luck. If I found someone who I can put up with, who in turn can put up with me, and we make each other laugh and the planets are in alignment and I close my eyes really tight I might convince myself we're in love. But then I'd pull one of my favorite moves, mess the whole thing up, start taking care of the other person and let go of myself again, and welcome big steaming heap of resentment. Yeah, I'm messed up, acknowledged. Better off alone, for this part of my life. In another season? Maybe.

Watching my kid holding on so tight to a boy who wants to run so fast, it's like watching myself at her age. I'm enraged and embarrassed at the same time. Sorry to dump it on the couch. This would be a great time to go to sleep.