Thank you Onward for such a thoughtful response to my post, I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am to not only be acknowledged but also understood and your advice about forgiveness is in tune with what I have been grasping at, I don't wish to forgive, just to move on and find peace of mind with my own mother-daughter relationship.

One of my first "Ah-Huh" moments I had post realisation of what my Mother is you articulated so well - she had her nose rubbed in it. I made a grave mistake so young and had no idea. He has always had the upper hand with her and married a woman just like her at a very early age so I can see patterns and explinations in so many more areas even between them I could not see before.

I am not currently in therapy but am on a waiting list to return hopefully in the coming months, public health care in Australia is sometimes a case of luck of the draw when it comes to mental health.

I agree it is such a relief to have a name for these people. I will look on youtube

Thank you once again and hugs in return!