The last little while I have felt relatively well. My stability seems to be better controlled. In the last few days though, with a psychiatric appointment looming, I am concerned about the ramifications of being somewhat emotionally healthy. As I've suggested before, I am terrified to go back to work. I've no clue what I'd do. Not to mention, I have a 30 year history of being unable to hold down any employment. I've trauma associated with my last workplace too. For days now I've been tumbling into deeper and deeper anxiety with worry my doctor will have me cut off of assistance.