i have a session in a few hours today and im worried. things have been so different and i feel so detached and angry at my T .not that im big on being so attached to her anyway but i dont want her to hate me either. last session she asked me how she can help me . to me that is the kiss of death. saying she has no way of helping me . she pushed me all session to come up with something to work on in therapy . something that will help me not be so miserable . i have tried all week to work on this so i could have something to give her today so she sees that i am serious about working in therapy but i couldnt .i never sat down and did it because nothing that came into my head seemed good enough. nothing that would make her want to keep working with me . all i come up with is maybe im not helpable . i am so resistant and i dont know why . she has never done anything to hurt me physically and anything that has hurt my feelings she has said was not intentional. im terrified if i dont disown my family she has come to her wits end with me and will no longer want to work with me . why must i do this . if i even try to talk to her about my parents always her response is to get them out of my life. i cant do that . i know they have made mistakes but so have i . unforgivable mistakes. my parents have a right to be like they are to me . i put all of them through hell. im not saying they were perfect but i really was a hell child and i truly believe any parent would have lost it when dealing with who i am . anyway my T wont listen to this stuff so what do i talk to her about .
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT
Dx, HUMAN
Rx, no medication for that
|