I think transference means you are transferring memories or thoughts that you have had about another person in your life onto someone else. Therefore expecting them to act or respond in a certain way because of the past. Therefore, to me anyway, if I think that my T is not there for me it could be down to transference because my Mother was not able to be there for me emotionally. That doesn't mean my T isn't there for me emotionally it is what I am transferring onto her. That said it could also be because she actually isnt there for me and that is where the difficulty with transference comes in because we need to decipher between what is real and happening in the moment and what is the transferred stuff. That transference can often block what is actually going on in the here and now.

I believe that what a lot of people call maternal transference is more a deep longing for nurturing and maternal love, not transference. This can be caused by inadequate parenting and is very real. I guess it could also be caused by a lot of other things but I am no expert.

To me, attachment happens or does not happen in all walks of life with all different types of people and is different for all of us dependent upon our personalities and charachteristics, of which our attachment style is a part. It can be a rocky road navigating this from the little I have read and should not be undertaken lightly if it is to be worked through properly.

Just some rambling thoughts.