I think 17 years together qualifies as trying. I wrote a whole list of things I've tried in another comment a while back. I understand your sentiment, but you don't know I haven't tried. You're making an assumption about me that isn't correct.

"For better or worse" is also a ridiculous statement. I understand loving someone and caring for them through difficult periods, using each other as support through life's challenges, but nobody can promise to love someone else forever and unconditionally. You don't know the future. And why should anyone do that? I never said those words. You're right about trying. I made a commitment to try, and that's what I'm doing. I always try.

Personally, I'm tired of people adopting some typical point of view on something and rigidly claiming it as moral high ground. I feel guilty enough for questioning my marriage as it is without being called lazy. But I'm glad things are so clear to you. Luckily you'll never have to question your marriage. I envy you.