I already emailed T because I'm devastated. T is not kicking me out or making new rules. It's her attitude! I've been naive because of my needs. She asked how I felt when I didn't email her for most of the week, and told me I'm the only client who emails her. I asked if she would have wished me a good weekend if I hadn't written, and she said no. She only writes in response to me, with a couple of exceptions like when my H was in the hospital.
She asked if I have anyone else I can talk to instead of her, and I said no. I can't just replace her!

I told her again that she said I never have to quit, and this time she said there's a beginning, middle, and end. She doesn't want to work forever, and can't see her doing this for 10 more years. Or maybe that would be when she'd retire. So I am a "doing this" now. The goal is for me to do without her.

I emailed her that my parts are crying. " I love you. Why do I have to give you up?" I said I had such hopes that I could solve my attachment issues with her but now I feel it's not going to happen.

I understand why many of you regret getting close to your T. If just causes heartbreak!!

I know I still have a lot of time to work on this, but no one in my life can replace my T. I know it's from my past, but right now it hurts like my T is already gone. I may even call her because I don't think these feelings are going to subside. Please don't criticize my T. It's not her fault. She works very hard. I'm just not ready to stop contact between sessions or think about quitting therapy.