Sending big hugs... I agree that attachment to a T can be painful. I'm in a good, close place with my T right now but also know she's retirement age, so I don't know when that will happen. And I've talked about my attachment to my marriage counselor on here quite a bit...recently shared feelings of love for him and wish he could say that he loves me too, even in just a "therapy love" way (I forget whose T coined that phrase on here), but I know he won't. I have these certain feelings of being loved and cared for by him, and he's said recently that "the caring is real." But it's like that's not enough for me. I want to be special to him. I want the way he looks at me and talks to me and the connection I feel to him to really mean something, not just like techniques he learned in grad school. OK, they mean caring, I guess, but it's like I want more than that (platonically). Part of me just wants to know what he really thinks--am I just on the same level of all of his other clients? But part of me doesn't want to know, wants to continue believing that what I'm experiencing from how he acts toward me, means that he cares deeply about me.