In my experience I think it's a mistake to go into divorce with any expectations of how you both will treat each other during and after the process. If you go into it with confidence that you both will remain civil oftentimes you feel pressure to live up to that (when your ex might not) and handicap yourself from the ability to do what's necessary to ensure you and your children are taken care of after the legal part of the divorce is over. Divorce is ugly. There is nothing nice or cordial about it. I understand why you still love him, but I think protecting yourself and your children is more important trying to make sure your husband still likes you at the end of all this. If he loves the kids he will not let how he feels about you at the end of this affect them.

I tried to be cordial with my ex (and he had cheated on me) and it ended up blowing up in my face. In the long run I think our divorce was much nastier than it needed to be once I realized I was getting screwed over.

I'm so sorry this is happening, divorce is a horrible thing. But it can lead to a better life. I met the love of my life after my divorce.