I'm getting married for the second time. 10 days from today. I've done the divorce thing but my reason for leaving was abuse. I'm going to point some important things in a marriage.

Mutual respect
Friendship
Love not necessarily in love as that comes and goes. That's the passion/compassion. But there should be an underlying love for each other
Common interests
Interests outside of the marriage. Not everything needs to be done together.
Good sex if that's even important to you. In most cases it is.
Ability to communicate without major blow outs. Satisfying conclusion to a fight or talk.

Anything else is icing

One and only reason to not seek counselling ABUSE. Mental, physical, emotional, financial or sexual. Those occur it's time to get out.

You give the tone of "I have the 98/99 model it's time to trade up to the 2018 model" will you actually accomplish that? Or will you be giving up on something that isn't permanently broken?

Red flags for me, I read narcissism but then insecure. Have you been dx'd bipolar or borderline? I also read that your wife may be cold and hard to please on the day to day. That could be problematic. That's where I strongly believe whether she is hesitant or not counselling is your next best option.

Don't be like the rest of your generation and the generations that are following. You are not entitled to anything. Think you will get a better wife well maybe you will likely you won't and will regret leaving the one you have. My siblings are your age, both in long term relationships but not married. I'm 10 years older. Have some experience.

Ultimately what you do with and within your marriage is your choice. I do hope things work out for you. No one likes to see marriage fail and some of the posters to this thread are of the belief that the younger generations believe their lives are disposable. They can get the bigger better version. Nothing gets fixed anymore. Yes 17 years is a long time, yes you were young when you got married but nothing screams not fixable in anything you've said.

Good luck