I am almost 31. Maybe the title is misleading, I have been in love, but NEVER loved back. I don't know how it feels to be and be with a person that loves me the way I do. I see happening to other people, never me. I hate my loneliness and I gradually became an alcoholic because of the void I feel for not experiencing love. I have so many fantasies, of a man that I love and loves me back. I'd literally do everything to keep him happy, even more than other girls do for their bfs. I have been in relationships, I never love back my exes no matter how much I try. I decided to be on my own now, not with anyone but my life is awfully lonely. A guy that used to like me blocked me on whatsapp because of my moaning and drinking problems. I wish I would stop drinking, but I can't cope with the void I have. Plus, people say I am unattractive, that I am fat and that I look like a man. I have thought about killing myself because I need love and romance in my life but can't have it. I just don't want to live anymore. If I ever experience a reciprocated love, and enjoy it at least for a few weeks, then I could die as a happy woman. But no, it is not for me, never for me. I am old now to find that anyway.