Moogs,

I go down both the denial and the F* it route depending on my mood.

When things are going well, and especially if it's nice outside so I can sit on a patio, I'll think to myself, "Well I can handle a couple of pints of beer, once or twice a week." And I can for 2-3 weeks, and then the irrational craving for more alcohol takes over and I wind up binging.

The F*-it process is however the more normal process for me, especially when I'm feeling down or stressed, and I kind of say I'm an alcoholic so I might as well drink, I just want the oblivion alcohol gives me so much that consequences don't even factor into it.

Today is day 5 for me of being sober, and my brain still feels very funny and like it's recalibrating itself. Plus it didn't help that when I drank, I didn't take my meds, so I had to get back on them, so my brain is also getting used to them again.