Hey. I can really identify with you. The eating disorder seems to have me trapped in some kind of purgatory where I function and get through my day but nothing ever feels right. It sounds like we're in a very similar situation too. I'm a freshman in college and I'm bulimic. I'm feeling really bad about money too. My parents give me money for spending and I use it so quickly for food I just waste. I have such a double life at college cause all my friends here think I'm so happy and normal. I really want to finally recover. I can't imagine going all through college with this...
I'd love to talk more sometime although I try to be really cautious with talking to other people with eating disorders because one girl I talked to was incredibly triggering and conversations with her made me really depressed.