Quote:
Originally Posted by TooManyDays
She's not explosive or angry. She's just critical and disapproving. She shuts down and passive aggressively makes me uncomfortable until I acquiesce to whatever she wants, which is invariably not what I want. I don't think she can fully admit that she does this. Basically, I don't enjoy doing things with her. I'd much rather go out and do things by myself. Agh, I know that makes me sound so horrible.
An typical scenario might be us having plans to do something I've been looking forward to for a long time and as we're getting ready to leave she'll sort of shut down. She won't say she doesn't want to go do the thing. She'll just waffle and nitpick things that could go wrong or things that might not be ideal. She'll say things like, "I'll go, if you want..." Or she'll say she's tired, or that she doesn't feel well, etc. I get the distinct feeling she's doing it to exert power over me by denying me something she knows I really want to do. She'll never admit she doesn't want to go. She'll just delay until she forces me to make the decision not to go. Or even worse, she'll actually go and then act so miserable that I don't have any fun and just feel guilty that she's not enjoying herself.
We haven't made an appointment yet, but I will when I find someone I'd like us to see as a couple.
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I don't feel it makes you sound horrible for typically caving into her non communicative style.
What happens when you point this out to her, in the moment?
How long will searching for a couples counselor take?