I will try and be frank tomorrow.. It's just even if I say I don't want hospital or new meds I may not get the choice. If she thinks the risk is great enough then she just doesn't have a choice. And if I refuse hospital when she feels I need it then she can get me sectioned... This is what happened last time, and that was just the first day I met her.

They think that keeping me busy, getting me back into work and similar will somehow "fix" things. This is their idea of help currently that doesn't involve hospital. But past experience tells me this won't make a difference. I've worked, and still felt this way. I can change my life circumstances, I have a lot, but it doesn't change my head.