Been ruminating again today: childhood stupidity, current, immaturity, past failures. Today I came home and found my roommate had put up a door-hanger that prevented doorof our room from closing....I didn't realize this until I ended up slamming the door and breaking the hanger. Great. More money I'll owe. Apparently the hanger wasn't hers but the person who did give it to her found it and yelled at me, said I had no business slamming the door.

But God - is is so bad to want to be able to close one's door and be alone after work? Is it so crazy and entitled to not want people barging in or stealing from me because the door's wide open? I'm increasingly scared to live here, I don't feel safe and I'm convinced that most other residents here would beat the hell out of me given the opportunity. Maybe I'm paranoid.

Still, I want to cry so badly right now but I can't. Fear and self hate... it's overwhelming in a quiet way.