don't want to sound polly anna but what will be will .... if you don't get it maybe that was for the best ... do you really need that much stress in you life right now ... if you do get called look at it as a door opening on a new you ... you win either way .... just put what you can control and yourself first ... the rest will happen no matter what we do ... I just hope you "get" what is best for you ... remember you are loved .... no matter what else happens ... .... Tigger