After my appt. with therapist today, I am totally confused. I have been seeing her monthly since July 2015. She also hosted a weekly dbt group for six months with us that ended in early April. Today, she basically said that they, which I assume is either management, the state, or both, stay on her to achieve improvement with each client. I assume I haven't improved much. She's ready to cut me loose and in fact said that therapy isn't for a lifetime. She said that therapy is to set a goal or goals, and then achieve them.

To me, it's an accomplishment when I have days that I don't have a thought of self harm, and I have been doing better and not having days like that but every now and then. She said she did not think I was ready to go back to work yet. I would like to by all means, but I know myself better than anyone and I know that I'm not ready either. I can't physically handle hard labor anymore, and hard labor jobs are the only jobs that I can have where I can gripe, cuss, pitch a fit to get it all out of me so that I can go home and be nice to people outside of work. Working with the public makes me want to be nasty with people outside the workplace. So I'm stuck in limbo with this f'up brain of mine.

Anyway, has anyone had similar experiences with therapy that can elaborate on the topic? Basically, I feel rejected in the same way that I did when the vocational rehab program booted me out. They shot me a bunch of bs and make it seem all peachy, but when I got the paper work, it said non compliance which through me for a loop.

I think what the therapist was getting to was that I'm not very social and for me to be social, I've got to try to get out and meet people. I really don't want to be social, for their sake and my own. She said that I have a negative for each suggestion she offers, such as church. I told her that I get as much out of church by watching it on tv as attending live. Why? Because I don't have to put on a f'in fake smile and act like life is so grand just to be around and socialize with people so that they have news they can gossip about.

Can anyone give me a heck yeah dude, you're really one screwed up individual?