For who decides, I usually make notes of what I want to talk about before my session and tell her at the start. She expects it now. Of course, sometimes she will move the discussion to areas she thinks would help me.

For the percentages...I've had two therapists. My first T talked about 20% of the time--primarily asking questions to keep me talking and making a summarizing comment here and there. I didn't feel I was getting as much out of it when I talked 80%. My current T talks about 40%. I prefer the more balanced session.