my friend........i know how scared you are and i hate that you are feeling this pain.......its the worst kind there is.....just bad enough to dull all happiness.........i wish there were wise words or some ridiculous ideas to give to you..........anything to help you....but there is not......i can only pray that whatever it takes to lift this fog off of your life...........that it happens and happens soon........please let me know how you are getting on.....i care