Alex.......this is freakin perfect:

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i think... that is meant to come about for people with relational trauma. narcissism... well, one notion is that that arises as a response to relational trauma, so i guess they might be related. i have a bit of a narcissistic disorder myself (due to neglect and stuff) and i think mr. man might as well... he does seem to worry a great deal about moving up the ladder at work and the associated relevant peer assessments... and about how he is underappreciated sometimes...

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That is my boyfriend to a T!!!! I mean you seriously just hit the nail on the head. Its been a huge help reading your replies and now Kimmy's. It sounds to me like our men are very similar. I wonder if that means we ladies are similar too, since we were all attracted to these men.

One thing I have to say is, I think we're blessed that we have men in our lives who are putting our best interests ahead of their "members". Thats a first for me, and I feel so blessed. I feel very blessed to be able to share about stuff here too.

It sounds like you're trying really hard with the whole "I'll let you go so you can sleep" thing. Anything worthwhile takes work right?

I'm still trying to think of a nickname for bf......