When my depression was bad, I was still doing my dressage horse back riding, lessons & practicing for shows. I would get lost in riding my horse while I was there doing it. I didn't understand it at the time but my depression was so bad & I felt trapped in my marriage & suicide attempts were what in my thinking was my only real escape. I remember times when I failed, was in the hospital & going over in my mind with the dressage test printed out for the show I had signed up for that next weekend.

I survived those years...no idea how but riding did help some & my horse helped a lot. Looking back & understanding what was really going on in my life now is very interesting in putting the pieces together