Addressing several of the recent comments above in this reply.

TishaBuv - Yes the relationship and communication are strained at times. She's not forthcoming about her feelings. She doesn't like to discuss feelings. She doesn't like it when I bring up sensitive subjects. There's either a wall I can't penetrate or there's nothing actually there to discover. I don't think she resents me, but she is insecure about certain things. And she definitely needs things to be controlled, predictable, certain, and safe at all times. She has a low tolerance for stimulation and novelty.

eskielover - I'm not even close to deciding to leave the marriage, but I agree that it would be important to understand what failed. That said, if we ever do end the marriage I will definitely never get remarried. Honestly, I never wanted to get married in the first place. I would either remain completely single or allow relationships to evolve organically, including allowing them to end naturally. This might mean having a sequence of relationships, or it might mean seeing more than one person in a responsible and fully consensual way. I have no patience for insecurity or jealousy anymore. If I ever date again I would allow my partner her freedom to see who she wanted. I don't value loyalty or ownership. Any woman I date would be free to spend time with me if she wanted but would not be expected to limit herself to seeing me exclusively unless she preferred to only see me. Individuality is very important to me. I know some people find that idea disgusting, but it's very natural and comforting to me.

healingme4me - I know I need to find someone for us to see together. It's hard to find a good therapist and schedule time where we can both get to therapy without our daughter. I'll make it happen. I think I was too harsh in my initial post and subsequent responses. I do care about my wife deeply. I don't resent her. I just can't get what I need from her, and also I'm having a difficult time reconciling my desire and curiosity about bonding with other people. Those things in combination have caused me to feel tremendous anxiety and regret over ever getting married. I feel owned and trapped by someone who can't communicate with me or understand me as an individual.

I completely understand what you mean by people being mislead by the Disney version of love. I assure you, that's not my perspective. My perspective might actually be worse. I do wonder if love always becomes unfulfilling over time, but I never had that strong sense of excitement and connection to begin with. And if deep love and connection don't exist, or can't exist for me due to some problem with my mind or emotions, then I would much prefer freedom from any relationship.