I am on the defensive so much with others...I continue getting hurt by others...I am screwed up...others probably don't care that much...I think when I was young I had to be very careful around my mother...I don't even know why I would say that...she loved me...I have a screw loose here...
I have many screws loose....its amazing that I am still here..

and it is more amazing that you are here talking about the terrible things that happened to you...you are something else to have survived all that stuff...