Anyone who makes you feel like a sexual object with no feelings doesn't deserve the time of day from you. You are a person, not a wind-up doll for their amusement. A good partner should be very concerned with your feelings.

Genuine love (the intimate relationship kind) imo involves intellectual, emotional and physical intimacy, in specific ways that work well for both people. It does not demand that you jump through complex hoops to get attention and understanding. It is a shared set of experiences that feels right for both people, doesn't involve guessing games or head games, and certainly shouldn't make either person feel miserable or uncomfortable all the time. Sometimes it can feel challenging for anyone, but if that's a constant in a relationship there's something wrong.

Forget taking at absolute face value what anyone else says you ought to want or how you should feel. Society gives everyone mixed messages. People can advise, they can share stories, offer wisdom gained through experience, all that is good. But really ... what do YOU want? We all have to figure out what we really want before we can get it. After that, we have to voice our needs and establish boundaries.

I don't think you're looking for attention by posting these thoughts you're having. I think you're feeling conflicted, confused, fed up, and trying to come to terms with it all. It's good to see people opening up and asking serious questions. Thank you.