I've learned not to base what happens in my therapy on what happens with other people on this site. Sure, lots of people get hugs, out of office sessions, and other extra goodies sprinkled around. It doesn't mean that the therapist is less competent if she doesn't do those things, it just simply means she's different and upholds boundaries appropriately. I can certainly empathize with how you feel, but I ultimately think the "special treatment" members on PC here receive from their therapists is far from the "norm." Yes, it's a case by case basis, but it certainly shouldn't be expected. I've read many where therapists will tell their clients that they "love" them, and while that might be okay for platonic/non-ET or personality disordered clients, it definitely is a word that shouldn't be taken lightly and said just to validate a client's experience. Love takes a while to form, sometimes even years, and shouldn't just be thrown around casually. Sure, therapists can tell their clients that they love them, but I don't see much value in it. We need to learn to love ourselves and be open to loving and receiving love from people in our actual lives. Therapy is a great place to practice that, but I think it could just set the client up for disappointment, especially if they have attachment issues. It's just not a good idea, and better to be safe than sorry.

Therapy has gotten easier for me (with either therapist I'm seeing) when I stopped trying to compare my experience in there with someone else's. Nevertheless, you can certainly open up a dialogue about this with your therapist if you feel it might help. I know we all want to feel important and validated, and therapy can open us up to be incredibly vulnerable. It's only natural you would feel this way, and maybe sharing these thoughts you have with her might lead to a really great discussion. Summation: Everyone's experience is different, every client is different, and every therapist is different. There is no one way to do things, but that doesn't mean it's appropriate, either.