Let's celebrate with one huge deep cut!
So I would either starve myself..
I would go on a "almost suicide" roll,
I would start cutting again
or I would go back to my addict days..

And I always do that when I really should be "happy" what is happy?
New Year, 1st of January. I wake up next to a bottle of whiskey after being a month sober I throw the bottle, mind you almost hitting my girlfriend, grab a shard and almost get myself to the ER..
Now my birthday.. I'm 16.. how did I even survive so long? I should not be alive right now. So I decided to celebrate with a deep.. that's not even a cut anymore, that is a slash.. And I don't even feel bad. I don't feel anything.. and that's the scariest thing.. I am so out of the reality right now that this means nothing to me, when previously I would usually "wake up". I'm wondering, will any of my "friends" even think for a second what might be happening right now?
Oh yeah I forgot.. I went into mania and lost all of them. Hope whoever has a birthday today is celebrating it amazing for me. I will be crying in my bed, don't worry about it.