Ok, this may sound rather ridiculous or unanswerable or something, but I have real problems with (psycho)therapy, but I probably really need it. Maybe not.

It has everything to do with my personality. I can't even explain why that is without really confusing everyone (yes it can be even worse ) including myself.

But that's the main reason. What is wrong with me on top of my BP (or the other way round, I don't even know that, which might be important) confuses, overwhelms and irritates me. I get oppositional and afterwards I regret it. Last time it took years, though (edit: actually last time was recently but a first meeting didn't end well I was also slightly manic, got more manic and I didn't follow through). I stopped taking meds because of it. I can't really explain why, but it was all too much, overwhelming.

Actually, like with psychosis, I think that that I can't stand therapy or that I might think I don't need it, is a testament to the need for it. If that makes sense.

So I want to try therapy again (I never really tried it, as in treatment), but as I mentioned, it's problematic.

It may not be very clear, but I very much hope someone can relate and tell me what they did to solve this conundrum.



Anyone else having, better yet, having had, "*** all this treatment ****, psychiatry, all of it" theropophobia?

Edit:
Maybe I just shouldn't go. Please convince me that I should if you think it may help, having experienced something similar.