it has been a long while since i visited this forum, and i am happy to see that i have made some progress emotionally since my last visit. i really don't like who i was, and i am not too sure that i like who i am.

i am 46 years old and still struggling with addictive thoughts about what would be an inappropriate relationship -- not in a sexual way, but in a "if only this person loved me i would have some value" sort of way.

i am tired of the addiction. i am married to someone who is my best friend, who only knows half of what goes on in my mind. i am ashamed. i have not yet figured how to stop.