Yes...I think that is typically the case but having a chronic mental illness affects my ability to work.

Both my therapist and the attorney we are working with have advised me not to look for a job until after the summer because it will effect how much he owes each month.

My attorney says if I get a job I would just be paying for childcare. And, frankly, the kind of jobs I can tolerate without (I imagine) losing it again, won't pay much more than that.

My pdoc says if I file and am approved for ssdi, I will get a check for me and for each of my three children until they are 18. It probably won't be much but we've lived below the poverty level for years now (when my husband finally gets a job that pays, he decides to leave...and he has a bank account without my name on it and I have no clue how much money he is hoarding).

To make all the bills each month and to provide a decent living (even including what he pays me), I will have to make at least $2000 a month. I haven't worked in close to 7 years now so what kind of job can I get making that much (at that, who will hire me)? The reality is, if he follows through with the divorce, I will need substantial help from my parents unless I can find a job paying enough or I get on disability. My parents are considering buying my home and buying out my husband so we can stay in our home. Refinancing would likely give me a lower payment anyway. It stresses me out to the point of tears at least daily. I feel like such a failure. Before I quit my job to stay home, I made $32,000 a year. That isn't a huge income but I could make it work. And, they are hiring. However, I worked in both underwriting and retention and it was SO stressful, and that was even before my break. I don't think I could tolerate it now (not by a long shot)

I have GREAT anxiety at the thought of getting a job outside of my home. I sometimes panic at the very thought. I am praying about it frequently, just as I am praying for everything. It is very hard to watch your life fall apart with your own eyes.