Quote:
Originally Posted by BudFox
But seems they often do get clients severely attached, in a way that is not found in normal relationships. And clearly it's not uncommon for clients to feel unable to function when faced with loss of the T, even if it's just a break imposed by a long vacation.
I think comparing this to outside relationships in terms of the potential for heartbreak and pain misses something fundamental, because of the nature of the relationship -- the idealized figure of the T, the parallels to parent-child, the fantasies of the perfect relationship, the emotional dependency, the disparity of need. I found it to be too close to institutionalized cruelty when it ruptured and when it ended.
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BudFox, I don't think I posted in your threads because I am so pro therapy, but I do agree with what you posted here. It IS different in therapy because of what you wrote. The relationship is, for many, like parent and child, idealization of the T, and fantasies of what can never be. Therapy causes an incredible longing in me because my T can never satisfy those fantasies. I still hope that I can grow to accept what I can't have and come out of therapy a healthy person. I'm not sure I can but I can't give up yet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick
I think in some ways we are alike rainbow. I know how much it hurts to have that longing for your T. I think the longing hurts more now that she is not my T. I understand your fear of the end. I was petrified of it because I knew it would be like this. You can PM me anytime. I really understand where you are coming from and if you ever need to vent or talk about anything, I am here for you. Sending you gentle hugs if you want them.
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Thank you, Cinnamon. I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time and I totally understand! I just can't imagine never seeing my T again. I know it sounds crazy, but it hurts more than the loss of my H. My T has always said it's because of early attachment issues. The child parts want to be with her like baby and Mommy.
Thanks for your offer to PM. I hope it gets easier for you, but grieving is normal, and there's no time table. Hugs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FallingFreely
I'm so sorry Rainbow 
Unfortunately this realization is one of the pains of therapy, even with the best therapist.
I do think that even though we our jobs to our therapist that we are still loved and valued.
Also know that even IF things need to come to an end with this therapist (retirement, death, or rupture) there are many other good therapists out there. THERAPY will always be available, and truthfully loving feelings are more process originating as opposed to working with truly special therapists. Just look at how many similar experiences exist on this board, though we are all very different with very different therapists.
I know this probably isn't super helpful, but you are not alone! |
Thank you, FallingFreely. This is my 5th T and I told myself I would never see anyone else. I really expected to see her the rest of my life. I saw a grief counselor recently, but that was for a limited time. I couldn't go through this again. If she and I can't resolve the attachment, I'll just have to go on as best I can.
I think I will finish my other issues, not that they ever get finished, and then see how I feel. Right now I'm still sad. My T emailed back that we will talk about it in the session.