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A woman once told me she thought I was capable of loving more deeply than other people, yet multiple people in this forum have suggested I might not be able to love or connect at all. That's interesting. Family members have told me they thought I was the most empathetic person they've ever known. Yet people here have suggested the opposite. Now I'm questioning my perception of myself.
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Remember, here we can only go by what YOU WRITE. We can't see you in action IRL so we really have no idea what your big picture is. As you have continued to write, we have been able to see glimpses of the bigger picture. The only thing we can do here is to throw out thoughts that may get you thinking & asking questions & searching yourself & your relationship for things that agree or disagree with the things that have been offered as thoughts here.
Your first post here came across that all you were looking for was passionate love that you couldn't get from your wife so you were willing to throw away your marriage in search of this illusive passionate love that you have never experienced before in your life.
So obviously, you are going to get responses that are in relationship to what you wrote because that's ALL we know about you is what you write. You have offered more insight as you have posted & the picture of your marriage looks different now than when you first started posting.....based on what you have written only because that's ALL we know.
As Healingme4me said, our responses are also coming from our own personal experiences. Offering you basically thoughts for you to answer yourself if they apply or don't apply.....we just throw out what we grasp from the words you write.