Please bear with me now. I have been dealing with some difficult stuff in my life along with a couple sucker punches. I have been taking care of my mother with dementia who can become violent. Although uncommon, she also forgets who I am. Getting help is difficult and unreliable. I find that I cannot trust caregivers and their companies to do what is right for their customer.

Just the other day, I had respite care arranged and a small weekend vacation planned. The caregiver signed up for it, but later had her boss contact me that she will be late coming in on her start day since she has another client. Given previous problems with her, and my neighbor only being there, I was reluctant to comply. Then I was told that if I did not let this happen, the respite caregiver would not show up at all for my vacation. My vacation begins on Saturday. Her way or the highway sort of attitude. But I am the customer. They also told me that it was no big deal if my mother was left alone for a short period of time. Amazing. So I told them that I will be looking for another company to do business with. I am already very stressed out, and then this happened. My lifeline became unpredictable. So we shall see.

Next my daughter has flunked several courses in high school. So recently I have been transferring her to another less difficult school. She has to take summer courses to make up her work. I found out that they no longer have teachers that teach those classes. They go in each day to separately watch videos and take tests. How is she going to be supported with her efforts in class when the class is held in this way? My daughter convinced me to let her take online courses instead for her summer. It is the same thing but done at home. I do not think she has the discapline to put in five hours a day. I am signing her up for it. Now she also wants a summer job. I told her this is not possible, for I am counting on her to take her summer studies seriously. She will have enough to do anyways with this and helping me with my mother. So we shall see.

Sorry to unload. I just felt earlier today that I was going to lose my mind. That is not happening now, but I still am just hanging on. I am thinking of leaving a day early and have my daughter stay on for help, instead of going to her mother. We have shared custody, and her mother has ignored her in the past. I do most of the raising of her. So we shall see.

Oh yes, only very recently my meds seem to be working. Lucky me!

Tucson