Quote:
Originally Posted by lolagrace
While meds worked for the crisis points, the big changes and improvements for me came through my work in therapy.
From the way you present yourself here though, I suspect you spend a great deal of your time intellectualizing about the world and bipolar in general whereas in therapy you have to be able to get to the underlying emotions and deeper thinking about what is going on within you. That could be an obstacle in your therapy. You appear at times to use your hypothetical questions and analytical reasoning as a way of distancing yourself from your emotions and from getting too personal -- at least it comes off that way. Will you be able to let that go and really get real and personal and inwardly thoughtful with a therapist?
|
I probably do intellectualise as a defence mechanism, I know, but not (just) in the typical sense, if at all. It's more of a natural thing. So not really. I also don't care much about rationality, but I need it. It's all too abstract. It's more like rationalising. That, together with a firm belief that I don't matter. More psychoticism than intellectualising.
That I don't believe I matter is important. It's mostly been more or less mania or depression from a young age. Continuous. Delusions, disorganisation.
I'd love to be able to say that I am protecting myself by intellectualisation, but honestly, it isn't really. I can be very open. It's not that, really.
I'm just afraid that a therapist intellectualises. More so than I would. I'm very much afraid of textbook answers.