[QUOTE=Your friendships, growing up, were they strained and sparse? Your parents, is their dynamics different than what you have with your wife? Trapped in marriage, does she have a certain dependency on you? Not necessarily in a financial way, but more indescribably so? Not even paternally so, yet in fear of independence or aloof to the concept?

Aside from work and your homelife/family life, do you have any hobbies? Maybe expand more on those? Any ambitions for volunteer work or a separate path from your current field? That, also, could help? I reckon that it's difficult to have a social life with your wife? Do you have couples friends?

When I mention resentment, it can also mean towards the life you are living/leading, not entirely at your wife, but why not some resentment towards her, a little?

About passion, is there not a zest for life, in your home? One thing is the five love languages, it's a small insight in compatibility, yet, if not mirroring one another, left unaware, it can be a big deal. My cousin and his wife, gifted that for my wedding. Didn't read it, until after the divorce, but it's a good read, my ex didn't go for such things. Wasn't open to counseling, among numerous other aspects, that are neither here nor there, but for you, before a marriage counselor is found, it's a small step. Ever read harville and hendrix? There's some good stuff over there for relationship building.QUOTE]

My friendships were few but deep. I had a small group of three or four close friends with whom I remain close.

My parents divorced when I was ten. I don't remember them being close, or much about their relationship before they separated. I do know that I felt like their actions were immature and irresponsible. I didn't suffer from their divorce. In many ways it improved my life, but my mother in particular seems to remain irresponsible, and I think I've put great pressure on myself to stick things out and accept my dissatisfaction to prove I'm not like her.

The trap is my own making. My wife is a fully formed adult. She would have no problem living without me. I just worry for her happiness, and I don't want to hurt her or my daughter. My wife deserves to be loved and appreciated.

Oh I most definitely have hobbies. I've thrown my energy into art and music. I'm very active in those communities. I can't really expand those activities or I'd never be home, and it wouldn't help. Like I said, I have thrown my passion into other things hoping it would compensate and bring me more contentment.

Our social life as a couple isn't good. We don't have common interests. We do have a few couples friends, but I don't enjoy spending time with them and they aren't available often.

I do resent my domestic life. I never genuinely wanted to get married or have kids. I thought I could grow into it. I felt a lot of pressure from family and friends to acquiesce. When I told people I didn't want to get married, they were disapproving and sort of made me feel I was being unfair to my wife - who was my long time girlfriend at that point. I also thought I was being unfair, so I just did it with the determination to be an honorable and loyal partner.

I haven't read either book. A zest for life? No. But my idea of zest is probably more extreme that others'.