"theres just some things that create crossroads in my mind because especially when it comes to anything sexualized i feel afraid of like i will be burnt at the stake for being sexual" I said this in a chat to my sister, I applied to be a camgirl because there is no jobs available but I have mixed emotions I felt happy but then I felt sad. Sad because I let what people feel about sexuality and sex and morals bother me. That influences my decisions the truth is I am not a ***** and I don't think anyone is really the body is a beautiful and complicated organ. I just wish that I didn't let what people thought of me define who i am and what i am. In all this I was desperate for work and I thinking of using this for good it will help me sometimes in life we have to take the only job is available and you won't believe how hard I tried to get a job to get nothing. In the same tokken I think this would be very fun and I pray to god that somehow I can get a hold of my confliction beliefs and feelings. Even forgive myself for believing sex etc is wrong. Forgiveness for being ashamed at my body forgiveness in general towards myself. All I hope is that at least I can get some confidence out of this.