I am depressed again. I see no point in continuing my life, so therefore i should be depressed. All my life i have failed to make friends, get work, have a girlfriend, achieve anything. It's just been existing and hoping.

Now that I live alone, my moods can vary a bit more. Today I just started to feel depressed because i cancelled a social outing because I don't feel like going. Sometimes I feel ok, in fact most of the time I feel alright, but underneath it all I think I am still depressed a lot.

I have been thinking of going to school or something, just so I can feel that I am doing something. So far I am just making myself be somewhat productive by making myself stick to to-do lists so that my days are not completely wasted. Part of my to-do list is sort of to look into study, or work, etc.

Anyway, I don't know why I wrote this thread. I can't go to this social outing this weekend. I feel overweight, ugly, and I need a haircut.

Goodnight.