Hello Illegal... Well... I guess I'm kind-of at the tail end of where you're at. I'm old. Over the decades, I have gored everyone who has reached out for me. I've had quite a few different jobs. Most of them went badly. I am married... although I can't really take any credit for that. It's mostly just because my wife refuses to give up on me. If I were her, I'd have thrown me out years ago! Personally I'm still existing... but I'm no longer hoping. That's all behind me now. (By the way, I also need a haircut!)

Going to school sounds like a great idea if you can swing it. Another idea would be to see if there is some volunteer work you could become involved with. Helping others is pretty-much an accepted way of feeling better about oneself. I would guess that living alone can be difficult. It would be easy to slip into depression & not even realize it. So I think the fact that you feel alright most days is to be celebrated! I wish you well...