Hello TwinVergil: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I'm an older person. But I can relate, in my own life, to quite a bit of what you've written. I think it's great that you've decided to forge ahead with getting help. I spent many years, decades really, battling my personal demons in silence... too embarrassed & confused & too deep in denial to seek help. But, in the end, it all unraveled anyway. So I celebrate your determination to heal.