Quote:
Originally Posted by ElsaMars
I see this as his problem, not yours. This is classic transference.
I relate to your friends comment because I used to believe NOBODY should have kids. I was pretty hard core about my feelings. They stem from my own inabilities and are not a true reflection of anyone's capabilities but mine. I asked people why they had so many kids if they had more than 2. This is incredibly rude of me but I'm not a rude person.
I've battled so much with this illness. It tries to kill me all the time. I've been an effective parent but my kids have seen so much they shouldn't have. I have issues with just existing and I used to spend a lot of time wondering why I had to be born at all. When I am manic, I often want to have more kids and when depressed I feel like the biggest failure when it comes to parenting. Parenting is hard, but so worth it. I just wish I didn't have this illness and could have been the perfect parent my kids deserve.
I hope you will forgive your friend. I hope you can recognize he is just being truthful about his feelings and he has no idea how much this hurts you. I hope that by sharing your feelings with him, he grows as a person and realizes this is his issue and not yours. ((,hugs)))
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Everything you wrote is beautifully put together. Thank you for sharing your maternal experiences as someone with MIs. I bet your children display empathy towards anyone that suffer from any disorder.
For some reason, despite obsessively researching on my own MIs, I felt that I
did deserve a chance to be a mother. You know, I witnessed some horrifying cases involving neglected and abused children. Growing up; I never thought one day I would be dialing CPS in order to have my old friends' children taken away. Or those nights I would spend protecting, loving, and soothing each child as they were being sorted out for adoption. Yet, somehow that has pushed me further in wanting children. I cannot think logically on the subject because I have been battling the topic for years now. :/
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The man who chases two rabbits, catches neither. - Confucius
Good for life: Work like a dog. Eat like a horse. Think like a fox. And play like a rabbit. - George Allen